Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Collaborative Writing - Day 3

Today was our 3rd day of collaborative narrative writing with Year 3 students in Room 10 from Grey Lynn School in Auckland.

3 more groups were online using Google Docs to write a story together at the same time. Take a look at the completed narrative stories:

Indiana Jones in Space

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Ellie and Ella
Grey Lynn: Jeru and Salote

Once upon a time, Indiana Jones had been sent on a mission to travel to the moon. He needed to locate some special rocks that might have oxygen in them. But evil monsters were protecting the rocks because they needed the rocks to help them breathe.

When Indiana Jones arrived on the moon, the first thing he did was put on his space suit so that he could breathe. His space suit also had a high tech whip in it which would help him later. He located the rocks with a special rock locater that the President had given him. He held it out and it beeped when it was near the special rocks. He was in the right place, but he had no idea how to get the rocks out. The rocks were way too heavy for him to carry.

He saw a space dog and asked if the dog could help him. "Of course," said the dog. "What would you like me to do?" "I need you to distract the evil mosters so that I can get to the rocks and pick them up with my special electrical whip." "Ok," said the dog, "but you'll have to give a good reward afterwards." "It's a deal," said Indiana.

The dog got a red flag and waved it in the monsters faces and ran away. The monsters followed the dog. Indiana used his electrical whip to lift the rocks all the way back to the ship. The dog met him there and got a bone as his reward. He was very happy. Indiana got what he wanted too, the rocks to take back to the scientists lab on Earth. It was a great deal that had helped them both!

A magical holiday

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Charlotte
Grey Lynn: Maia

A long time ago, there were two friends called Madeline and Jack who were going on a holiday. They were going to a magical place in England. They flew there on a jet and went straight to the house that they had rented for the week with their parents.

When they got there they immediately ran out into the snow. The snow felt soft and wet like a towel that has been accidentally dipped in the bath. They threw snowballs at each other and made snow people. They loved being in the snow, but soon it was getting dark and they needed to find a place to stay for the night. They went up to the house, but they found that it was locked! "Oh no," said Madeline "where are we going to sleep?" "There's a cave over there," said Jack. then Madeline turned around and saw it.

When they went inside the cave, they saw that some creatures pick ing up objects that looked like glitter . "What do you think that stuff is?" said Jack. "It looks like fairy dust to me," said Madeline. "I think we should get out of here!"

Suddenly, a tiny voice said, "can you help us?" Madeline and Jack jumped because they had never heared such a small heard such a small voice. When Madeline looked down, she saw a pair of wings and a little face. "The goblins are stealing all our fairy dust and using it to fly," said the fairy Sparkles. "But we need it to help the corn grow next spring." "What would you like us to do?" said Madeline. "We've got snowmen," said Jack. "Would that help?"

"Perfect," said Sparkles. "I'll just tap them with my wand and that will make them come to life!" Sparkles went outside and came back with an army of snowmen. "Fellow snowmen," said Sparkles, "follow me!" The snowmen started to throw very bright snowballs at the goblins. When a snowball hit a goblin, the goblin dided soblin dissolved instantly.

"It's working!" yelled Madeline. "Keep going!" The snowmen continued throwing snowballs until all the goblins had dissolved. "Thank you snowmen," said Madeline. "See you tomorrow." "And thank you, Madeline and Jack," said Sparkles. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" "Yes!" said Jack. "We need to get into our house!" "Of course," said Sparkles, as she unlocked the front door with her wand.

"That was a truly magical holiday," said Madeline. "I agree," said Jack, "and it's only just beginning!

The Parrot and the Dog

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Nopera and Dom
Grey Lynn: Jordan and Briar

Once upon a time there was a Dog called Jazz and Parrot called Squawky. They lived next door to each other, but they hated each other. Jazz was always chasing Squawky and trying to catch and eat her.

One day there was an earthquake. Jazz was busy chasing Squawky up a steep hill and he was getting closer and closer. Squawky called out, "please stop chasing me. I'm getting tired and it's not fun!" Jazz didn't care, he thought that was a great game.

Suddenly, BANG! Rumble, rumble, rumble. The ground began to shake. "It's an earthquake!" yelled Squawky. "This is fun!' It's like a massage on my wings!" Jazz wasn't so excited. "Help!" he wept. "The ground is breaking under my weight.; I don't know what to do."

Squawky was having the time of her life. She was having a roller coaster ride in the sky. But down below, she could see Jazz it looked liked he was in a sand He looked very scared. "I will save and help you only if you promise not storm to chase me anymore," said Squawky. Jazz agreed.

Squawky swooped down and scooped Jazz up in her sharp talons and took him to safety. Jazz wriggled like a wiggly worm in Squawkys talons, but Squawky didn't drop him. When they finally reached the safety of Squawky's home, Jazz was really relieved. He had escaped from the terrible shaking earth.

From that day on, Jazz and Squawky became best friends and visited each other every day. Sometimes, Squawky would let Jazz chase her, but only for fun.

Well done Groups 7, 8 & 9, very imaginative stories.
Our final day of narrative writing is tomorrow!


  1. Hello From Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada!

    Wonderful stories! Those were group projects? I teach Middle School Students, but I think this would be a terrific learning opportunity for them. I'll bet there were a lot of conversations about what to keep and what to edit!

  2. Hello,
    I am a PreService Student Teacher, attending college in Oklahoma in the United States of America. I am currently taking a Technology 4 Teachers course. One of our assignments, this semester, is to look at class blogs and make students comments. Then I talk about it on my blogging page. So your now part of my homework.

    I loved your story. I really liked the names you chose for your characters. Great job. Keep writing and reading. Books and stories can take us to wonderful places. Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. My wife and I are both going to college in Oklahoma. We are working on getting our teaching degrees. One of the classes that we have to take is a Technology 4 Teachers course. One of our assignments is to find a classroom blog and interact with the students. We chose your class so now your part of our homework assignemts and web pages.

    I love the story Indiana Jones in space. I love stories about space. You did a great job creating the story line. I loved the whip for outer space. Keep up the great work.




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