Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Collaborative Writing - Day 2

Today was our 2nd day of collaborative narrative writing with Year 3 students in Room 10 from Grey Lynn School in Auckland.

3 more groups were online using Google Docs to write a story together at the same time. Take a look at the completed narrative stories:

The Dog that couldn't bark

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Aria & Aulay
Grey Lynn: Amy and Anton

Once there was a big dog called Spot. He couldn't bark because he had a bad disease in his throat. He lived with his owners called Jack and Jazmine.

One day, when Jack and Jazmine were out shopping, Spot saw some strangers snooping around the house. Spot watched as they smashed the toilet window and went inside. Spot knew that they were being robbed! "What shall I do?" He thought. "I can't even bark to get help! I'll have to deal with this all by myself."

There was a trampoline standing next to the bathroom window. Spot jumped onto the trampoline, bounced really high and did a somersault through the bathroom window. He landed on the toilet seat, which luckily was shut.

Spot charged at the robbers and cornered them. Then he leaped as high as a kite and scratched them on the face really hard. He grabbed them by the pants and pulled them out the front door.

Just then, Jack and Jazmine came back.''Oh No!'' said Jazmine sadly. ''We have been robbed. I think we should call the Police." But Spot jumped up and showed them the robbers lying on the front step.

''Well done Spot!'' said Jazmine and Jack. Then Jazmine said "You are an amazing dog."

Jazmine quickly went inside and discovered that nothing was stolen even though the toilet window was smashed. They called the Police and got the robbers taken away to jail. Then Jack got Spot a big, big bone. "Here you go," he said. "Good job. We can trust you to guard the house even though you can't bark. You're the best!" Spot felt very proud of himself and happy to have such nice owners.

The Robot Cat Adventures

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Sheridan and Jacob
Grey Lynn: Jennifer and Cameron

Once there were two robots who were best friends. Their names were Flyer and Braike. They lived in a space ship with their cat called Max.

Flyer and Braike were trying to fly their space ship to Mars, but they kept getting stopped by big green aliens who wanted to take their beautiful cat, Max. The aliens had never seen a cat and thought it looked delicious!

Flyer had an idea. He said, "we should transform our space ship into a shield space ship so that we can get past the aliens." Braike thought that was a good idea, and Max was just glad that he wasn't going to be eaten! Flyer found some recycled material like metal junk that they couldn't use any more, and they made a strong protective shield.

Finally they landed on Mars , but the aliens were already there. "Oh no," said Braike. "What should we d

o now?" "Maybe we should talk to them" said Flyer. "They might not be as terrible as we think. Maybe they just want to pat the cat." "Ok," said Braike. "But we are NOT giving them Max."

''Greetings Aliens," said Flyer. ''What do you want from us?" exclaimed Max trembling. ''We just want your space ship and to take a photo of your beautiful cat so that we can make one like it back on our planet," said the big green alien.

"Well," said Flyer, "you can only have our ship if you give us one of your cool space ships. And we will let you have a photo, but you can't have Max. He's ours."

Braike was very proud of how Flyer stood up to the scary aliens. She thought that he was very cool. The aliens were also impressed with how Flyer talked, and they agreed to everything that he said.

So Flyer and Braike stood beside Max the cat and the Aliens took a picture of the three. Then Flyer and Braike zoomed off like a motorbike and said ''goodbye." Max said ''meeeow!" They thought it was a good day after all.

Where is Santa?

Names of story authors:
Nelson Central: Luke & Ethan
Grey Lynn: Stella and Ethan

Once there was a girl called Bella who lived with her very mean parents called Joe and Kim. It was December and Christmas was coming. Her parents were so mean that they weren't going to give her any presents for Christmas.

In her bedroom she decided to write a letter to Santa but he didn't respond, so she decided to go to him. She didn't know how to get there though, so Bella called out, "Santa, Santa, where are you?" But there was no reply.

Bella decided to call Santa's hotline to see if she could get him to come and see her. She picked up the phone and dialed the number but all she heard was his answering message. She thought she better leave a message, just in case.

"Hi Santa, it's Bella here. My parents are being very mean to me and I was wondering if you could come to my house and help me."

Bella knew one place that she could find Santa. It was the shops! She decided to look in the shop and to her suprise he wasn't there, so she walked sadly to her house. When she arrived, she called again "Santa, I need you," and suddenly he was there.

She said, "oh Santa, you're here!" Then he said " I got your message and I came as soon as I could. Here is a little toy for you. I need your help as well. Can you be a helper in my workshop? One of the elves has had to move away and I need another helper." Bella felt really excited about getting to live with Santa and also getting to move away from her mean parents. She went to tell her parents, but they didn't care anyway. So she went back to Santa's workshop in his sleigh.

The first thing she did when she got there was make a toy truck made out of metal. She was so happy to be with Santa and his reindeer at the North Pole. She was as lucky as a cookie, the luckiest person in the whole world.

Well done to the 3 groups who wrote their stories today!


  1. Sarah (Jacob's mum)December 1, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    What fantastic stories! They are all very funny. You have great imaginations to creat such interesting stories. Well done.

  2. I'm really enjoying your stories - what a great idea for writing them!

    I'd be interested to know how you actually go about this when you're online together - do you talk on Skype, or chat online? Do you choose a part of the story each to work on, or what? Looks fascinating and I'd like to try it with some students too.




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